Posted by: chocolatequilts | January 11, 2011

Daily Post

I read ” these terms to know”   in an email .( They came as part of  a daily joke email . ) I thought my blog  it would be a good place to keep track of it instead of in my mail folders and maybe some one else might read them here too. Some of them are kind of funny .

 

Terms to Know

TRAFFIC LIGHT — apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

DIVORCE — postgraduate in School of Love.

PIONEER — early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE — some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened.

SWIMMING POOL — a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL — the ability to eat only one peanut.

SALESMAN — man with ability to convince wife she’d look fat in mink.

CANNIBAL — person who likes to see other people stewed.

EGOCENTRIC — a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

FOREIGN FILM — any movie shown in Texas theater that isn’t a western.

OPTIMIST — girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

MAGAZINE — bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue.

COLLEGE — The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS — Police station, fire department and places that deliver.

OPERA — When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET — A French word that means “Get up and get it yourself.”

BABY-SITTER — A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.

TATTOO — Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

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