Posted by: chocolatequilts | January 30, 2011

Daily Post January 30

Gosh,this month is just about gone – I keep wanting to quit writing this blog already .  One of the reasons I do keep on going is that I have been posting some things from each day , without this the days would just all blur together  I am sure.

In church this morning The preacher asked the question “Have we stopped expecting things from God .”  I think in some ways I have .  I don’t expect much to change in my day to day life any time soon . It’s Jan 30th and we are supposed to move out of this house on April 30  – 3 months from now . To date we don’t  our location , if it will be a house or apt . if Ron will have a job or if will go to school. If he goes to school we do not know how he will pay for it .

Have not been on medication my medication for awhile now, first it was because I was stressed and kept forgetting. Then one day I realized I had forgotten too many times, so then I just quit. Then I realized that I could not start it up again without changing the dose. I need to call my doctor for that, have put it off because of the embarrassment . But now I have to make myself do it call.

I want to curl up in God’s lap that way Flossy curls up in mine. However I really just want him to cushion me from all the pain,hurt,disappointments ,wondering , worries, and what ever I am going to have to go through in these next few months. I am so very tired , I want to go to sleep, and sleep until something good happens to me .  I don’t expect that,  that is going to happen , but I shall go on. My heart feels broken but I don’t  think I will get to die from a broken heart .

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Responses

  1. I am sorry to see that you are so depressed. Depression is so hard and really hard to come out of. You can call me and I can call you for free and we could chat. Sometimes it helps just to chat with someone. Well let me know if there is anything I can do to help Wendy. I am going through a little bit of depression myself right now. I go through stages of it where I will be fine for several months and then I will get bouts of it again. I do the same thing with anxiety. I do well for a while and then I will have panic attacks for a while. Just know I can relate and do understand.


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